The Holidays are Coming ...

For some people that statement brings feelings of excitement and fond memories of childhood holidays ... for others it creates a feeling of dread and the wish to just fast-forward to January.

I suppose there are a multitude of reasons why some folks love the holidays as much as others hate them. In fact, I've had some years where I couldn't wait for Thanksgiving to arrive, and other years when I wished we could just avoid the whole mess. Current family dynamics, age, the economy, and a whole slew of other factors play into how you perceive the holiday season.

So how to avoid the holiday doldrums when they come rushing in? Two simple approaches have helped me immensely in past years. 1) Get my focus off myself, and 2) Do some advanced planning.

Get your focus off yourself
Those years when I've struggled the most, and tried to determine why, I've usually found that I am hyper-focused on my physical struggles, family struggles, or disappointment in others. It has been very helpful for me to name the issue, whatever it might be, and consciously work to leave it with the Lord. If I can daily shift my focus off from me and on to those around me, my attitude improves tremendously. Certainly the holidays are not the time to become a martyr, so I'm not suggesting totally ignoring personal needs. But looking for little things that might work to improve my spirits is much more fruitful than using that time to dwell on life's troubles or injustices.

Do some advanced planning
Most often the stress and hair-tearing of the holiday season can be avoided with a little proactive planning. As much as I'm able, I try to map out the events of November and December well in advance. Around those activities I plan our meal schedule. Based on that schedule I try to plan my grocery shopping so I only have to go once or twice. There's nothing more frustrating to me than being stuck in an over-crowded grocery store during the holidays.

Getting my kids involved with the planning is also tremendously helpful. With my focus on others instead of myself, it becomes less important that every event is planned "correctly" than working on the project as a family. We schedule hospitality times in our home, create a menu, and brainstorm decoration ideas.

I also take a serious, realistic look at our budget, and plan our gift giving based on what is possible. 61% of Americans list lack of money as being their greatest holiday stress point. Shifting our focus to relationships and creativity can go a long way toward relieving this issue.

Not creative? Need a jump-start for holiday meal planning and gift-giving? Here are some great resources to check out as we head into November.

• Sonlight's Home for the Holidays Forum
• Holiday Party and Gift Ideas
• Christmas Card Ideas
• Christmas Ornament Ideas
• Christmas Corner
  
• Thanksgiving Recipes
  
• Christmas Recipes

(Standard caveat - I cannot vouch for all the content on each of these sites, so browse with care).

I'd love to hear your ideas for a stress-free, enjoyable holiday season. Feel free to share! And most of all ... I wish you a relaxing, family and Christ-centered holiday season.

Blessings ...
~Judy

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Going Home

A homeschool icon left this earth for a better place yesterday. HSLDA's Chris Klicka fought a 15 year battle with MS and "won" ... though not in the way that many might define winning. I have alternated between rejoicing and weeping with his wife, Tracy, as she documented Chris's final struggle with MS on their CaringBridge page. Being close in age to someone who graduates to heaven can bring the realities of life into sharp focus. I can only hope that I finish my life's journey as well as Chris has.

Bits and pieces of Sara Grove's song, Going Home, have been invading my thoughts over the past 24 hours. I have it playing in the background as I write this ...

Of going home, I'll meet you at the table
Going home, I'll meet you in the air
And you are never too young to think about it
Oh, I cannot wait to be home.

I'm confined by my senses
To really know what you are like
You are more than I can fathom
And more than I can guess
And more than I can see with you in sight.

But I have felt you with my spirit
I have felt you fill this room
And this is just an invitation
Just a sample of the whole
And I cannot wait to be going home.

Going home, I'll meet you at the table
Going home, I'll meet you in the air
And you are never too young to think about it
Oh, I cannot wait to be going, to be going home.

May we all be looking forward to going home ...

Blessings ...

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Trust

Every now and again I see something that sticks with me and leaves a lasting impression. I had one of those experiences last weekend. I was at a homeschool convention, enjoying the worship session at the beginning of the day. We enjoyed the awesome sounds of a homeschool family that had more talent than I knew existed in one household. Dad, Mom, and four kids (ages 7-16) ... singing, playing flute, bass, percussion, keyboard ... and the harmony was perfect. In the midst of the worship experience, I noticed something that perhaps no one else saw. Every one of those kids had their eyes focused on their dad. He led their music without saying a word. He never had to stop to get anyone's attention ... never had to wave or shout or give any direction. Each child regularly looked to their dad for the "next thing". They didn't question or disagree ... right down to the youngest member of the group they simply watched dad.

Each time we met together for worship, I watched this scenario play out. And while the worship music spoke to my heart, the lasting impression was that of the trust the kids had in their dad. They believed he would always be there to give them direction ... and he was. Might I always keep my eyes on my Father ... always believing He will be there to give me direction. (Ps 25:2)

~Judy

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Homeschool Mom Guilt

So you want to homeschool your children? OK ... first let's see if you "qualify". Please check all that apply from the following list:

• You use cloth diapers only
• You grow all your vegetables (and then can or freeze them for the winter)
• You bake all your bread (after you've hand-ground the wheat)
• You sew all your clothes and your husband's and children's too
• You bake cookies only from scratch, with some of that hand-ground wheat and honey from the bees you keep out back
• You feed your children only whole milk, straight from the Guernsey you keep out back
• You play the piano beautifully, sing like an angel, and whistle while you work, in the garden out back
• You knit beautiful blankets from the wool you spin from the sheep you raise out back

I suspect you know where I'm going with this! A friend recently shared a blog post she read over on WorldMag.com and it got me to thinking about this topic. I suspect that WorldMag article does carry some truth to it. We moms can indeed be cruel to one another. But I wonder where that judgmental attitude really comes from? Maybe because we're not terribly confident in our own choices?

I find myself often guilty of the same behavior ... comparing myself to others and finding myself coming up short. Or I compare myself to my own self-imposed expectations, and once again come up short. Sort of like those Corinthians that Paul had to remind ...

2Cr 10:12	We do not dare to classify or compare ourselves with some who commend themselves. When they measure themselves by themselves and compare themselves with themselves, they are not wise.
2Cr 10:13	We, however, will not boast beyond proper limits, but will confine our boasting to the field God has assigned to us, a field that reaches even to you.

One of the great lessons that God continues to teach me in both my parenting and my homeschooling is that He and He alone sets the standards for my life. I can certainly admire the efforts and accomplishments of others, but ultimately the only plan that matters for my life is the one my Father has assigned.

So what does this mean on a daily basis? Huge boatloads of grace! Grace towards myself, when I fail to reach the expectations *I've* set for myself (or for my spouse or children). Grace towards friends and acquaintances who make different choices from mine. Or put more plainly ... cut myself (and others) a break!

Keep on keeping on ...
~Judy

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My children ARE a blessing!

I've recently had the blessing of being involved in a small Bible study with two other homeschool moms. We are working our way through Carolyn Mahaney's excellent book Feminine Appeal. The chapter for this week was a much needed reminder and very convicting!

Titus 2:4 is the verse around which this chapter centers ... the mandate to women to love not only their husbands, but also their children. The idea here being that "love" actually means to delight. Mrs. Mahaney makes what was for me a very eye-opening statement ... Although many mothers are committed to caring sacrificially for their children, they sometimes neglect to enjoy them (emphasis mine). How often do I get so caught up in the details of being wife, mom, taxi driver, homeschool teacher, etc... that I miss out on the pleasures of a relationship with my kids?

But my plate is so full! Where do I find time to do more than I already am? Oh sure, one more thing to feel guilty about! Questions I regularly ask myself ... especially after reading this week's chapter. Fortunately, the author goes on to point out that our only genuine source of refreshment ... to be able to delight in our children, as well as serve them ... is from God. Daily time alone with Him is the only way to acquire the strength needed to carry out this task of mothering.

I can say without exception that this one discipline ... of carving out quiet time alone with God each day ... has had the greatest impact on my ability to hold it all together as a homeschooling mom. It has never come easy ... and I am rarely 100% successful in a given week ... but it is well worth the effort.

One of the closing statements in this chapter has stayed with me this week ... I am convinced that no one has more potential to influence our children to receive and reflect the gospel than we do as mothers. And in spite of how huge this task may appear to be, I can be encouraged that God's grace is greater (2 Cor. 12:9).

Keep on Keeping on . . .
~Judy

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Who am I anyway?

Continuing my reading through Calm My Anxious Heart the other day, I came across a chapter on being content with the role that God has given me. It occurred to me that homeschooling moms probably struggle tremendously with the whole idea of who they are. Am I a mom? A wife? A teacher? The Principal? A Curriculum Designer? Taxi driver, nurse, peace-maker, counselor, and so on and so on. I'm sure you get my point. If anyone should be wrestling with a split personality disorder, a homeschool mom is the perfect candidate!

I distinctly recall times in our homeschool journey when I did battle with the Lord over the many hats He required me to wear ... and how "unfair" it all seemed some days. And which role was supposed to be the priority? And, by the way, I didn't like some of the roles I was being asked to fill, and I didn't ask for them either!

So this chapter on being content with my God-given roles was good for my heart, and a gentle reminder of who I am. Here are a couple of thoughts the author shared that really hit home ...

All the roles I play will, at some point in time, be difficult. BUT ... each of those roles comes with tremendous opportunity. Jesus came to the world to play the role of servant (Matthew 20:28), not to be served. What better example is there for fulfilling the roles I am called to fill? I can choose to minister or manipulate. What wonderful blessings come my way when I choose to minister.

And what does God really ask of me in those roles, anyway? Is He expecting perfection in all that I do? Or is that my expectation? I Corinthians 4:2 tells me that God requires faithfulness, not perfection. God has entrusted me with the roles of mom and teacher and discipler and so on ... and He simply requires me to be faithful in carrying them out. It is in being faithful that I best glorify Him.

Do not become weary in well-doing ...
~Judy

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Calm My Anxious Heart

So I finished Piper's Future Grace in 2008 and have begun a new study titled Calm My Anxious Heart by Linda Dillow. How was I to know it would be so timely for my life's circumstances?! Obviously God knew.

Contentment is an issue that at least one of my kids struggles with. While I don't believe I struggle with this as much as I used to, I can certainly say my child comes by this trait honestly. Thinking back to my younger years as a believer, contentment was one of my biggest "beefs" with God. Why can't you answer/fix this today? was my most frequent prayer. Homeschooling was probably (and still is) one of the areas in my life that God uses to stretch me in this thing called contentment.

Being a lover of lists and bullet points, this "prescription for contentment" jumped out at me this week as I began Dillow's book:

• Never allow yourself to complain about anything - not even the weather (ouch - how does she know where I live?!)
• Never picture yourself in any other circumstances or someplace else.
• Never compare your lot with another's.
• Never allow yourself to wish this or that had been otherwise.
• Never dwell on tomorrow - remember that tomorrow is God's, not ours.

OK ... so maybe I don't have as much of a handle on contentment as I thought. Let me just close this meditation nanosecond with one last thought from the book ... Make it a goal to possess a soul sufficiency, a peace separate from your circumstances.

Philippians 4:11-13

Keep on keeping on ...
~Judy

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Musings on a Merry Christmas

I hope you all enjoyed a wonderful Christmas holiday ... no matter how, or with whom, you spent it! Our Christmas was somewhat bittersweet this year ... life changes so quickly. I was reading a thread over on the Sonlight Forums that was talking about expectations, and how Christmas is a time of year when they are most often not met. It struck me that often my expectations for the "perfect" Christmas holiday are based on my rose-colored childhood memories. Or even my memories of earlier holidays when my children were toddlers, and we all got caught up in the magic of the season as we saw it through their eyes.

Time marches on ... my parents are aging ... our oldest is off to college and brings friends home with her when she comes ... the economy manages to "intrude" on any holiday plans we might have ... friends come and go ... etc ... As I lay in bed last night thinking over this year's Christmas "experience" and expectations, I was reminded that there is at least one constant in my life that time does not affect ... the love of God that sent His Son for me. A fairly new Christmas song (by Faith Hill) that I heard last night summed it up well ... A Baby Changes Everything ... may that baby provide a life-impacting change for you this season.

Blessings ...
~Judy

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Meditation second

This one is a little longer than a nano-second, but really encouraged me this morning. And yes, I'm still reading Piper's Future Grace. Some books take me longer to "digest".

Today's topic was the strength and grace that God supplies to carry out our spiritual gifts and ministries. I immediately thought of my ministry of homeschooling to my children. And I suppose you could even say that homeschooling is a spiritual "gift" that God provides (though there are many days when I don't feel gifted in this task at all).

I Peter 4:11b states Whoever serves, let him do so as by the strength which God supplies; so that in all things God may be glorified through Jesus Christ. Piper notes that the word in this verse is "supplies", not "supplied." God goes on, day-by-day, moment-by-moment, supplying the "strength" in which we minister. The ability to exercise our spiritual gifts in the ministries to which we are called (including homeschooling and parenting) is by the power of future grace, not in any power we might muster up as we think about God's past grace.

Piper then goes on to note that as we rely on this grace for tomorrow, our gifts and ministry becomes grace for others. Ephesians 4:29 says Let no unwholesome word proceed from your mouth, but only such a word as is good for edification, according to the need of the moment, that it may give grace to those who hear. At some point today, or tomorrow, I will be in a position to meet someone's need through the words that I speak or the actions I take. If I am trusting in God's future grace for that coming moment, I will have the privilege to become a channel for God's grace in that person's life. I will experience the satisfaction that comes in knowing that God called me and used me in someone's life.

What an awesome perspective to have on homeschooling my children. God's future grace will always be available to me as I mentor and disciple my children. I will be in the perfect position to offer them an edifying word and become a channel through which God's grace is bestowed upon them.

Blessings ...
~Judy

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Meditation nano-second

"Meditation Moment" is a title that's been overused (IMHO) ... and a moment can be quite a long time, if time is at a premium. So I have just a little tidbit to share (a nano-second?) ... gleaned from my quiet time this morning.

From John Piper's book Future Grace.

Patience is the capacity to "wait and to endure" without murmuring and disillusionment - to wait in the unplanned place, and endure the unplanned pace. ... Impatient people are weak, and therefore dependent on external supports - like schedules that go just right and circumstances that support their fragile hearts. ... The strength of patience hangs on our capacity to believe that God is up to something good for us in all our delays and detours.

Whew ... tough (but good) to hear at 7:30 AM.

~Judy

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